Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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