So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
