I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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