i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
you had me at cake vodka
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
