Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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