i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
pray to the hookup gods
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
