you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
