she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
