gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
