i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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