it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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