I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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