Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
