you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize