You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
