I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
