We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
