PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
