sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
