there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
