I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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