A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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