Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
