did you get engaged???
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
