How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
