do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
