college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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