Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
