1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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