Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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