i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He had one of those small greek statue penises
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
