I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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