ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
