were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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