I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
