AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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