then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's shark week go big or go home
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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