i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i now understand why vodka
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
