oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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