he shaved USA in his pubs
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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