Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
