Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
