Welp...herpes.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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