can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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