doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Michael Bay diarrhea
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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