Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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