So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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