do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
