Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
