I want to have your abortion
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize