I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
