Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
