I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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