btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
