And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
