No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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