You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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