how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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