seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
