Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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