oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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